This funny place called England...

So, after a year and a half in Switzerland, I have ventured back to my native land for a short visit. It is proving to be a bit of a culture shock. For starters, everyone speaks English! You understand what fellow shoppers are saying to each other, and the local news makes sense... this is a very puzzling state of affairs. Compounding this, I have apparently forgotten how to speak English. I had to go into an Orange shop to ask a question about my UK mobile phone (finally exiting from it's box after nearly a year). I had the greatest difficulty in working out how to phrase my query! Most mysterious.

I am also in great danger because all of the cars drive on the left side of the road. Not being a driver, I did not think that this would pose a problem. But I keep on looking in the wrong direction, and then attempting to plunge out into the path of incoming traffic... thankfully so far I have not been out on my own.

Things seem very cheap too. Partly this is because paracetamol and so forth are cheaper than in Switzerland... but also because of the exchange rate.

Another issue, particularly relevant as I type, is that all the keyboards are wrong. Z is where Y should be and the @ sign has moved... this makes logging into practically anything a difficult task requiring concentration of more than usual intensity!

The best part, however, has got to be the food. Brown sugar... real sausages... cheddar cheese... all delights which I have been missing for the past year and a half. I've been promised a Chinese takeaway next week. Now, do you think I can smuggle some cheese past customs?

Things I miss in Switzerland

I must be a very greedy person. I never thought of myself as greedy, or of being much of a foodie, but having lived in Switzerland for over a year now I find that the things I miss most from England are mainly food related.

Twiglets. A friend came to see me last week and brought me two six-packs of Twiglets. I have so far eaten seven mini packets, one day, I am ashamed to admit, I ate three in a row.There's just something about Twiglets... the crunchiness, the rich yeasty taste... there's nothing like that here. Tortilla chips come a poor second. Plus, my cat adores Twiglets. She is always much more friendly when she catches the aroma of them in the air!

Mints. Not any mints in particular, although I could wax lyrical on the relative merits of mint imperials, mint humbugs, mint creams and mint crumbles... just plain old mints. In Migros there are just three kinds of mints: sports mints (which are soft and chewy - ick), peppermint lozenges (which come in an unsatisfying small roll) and tic-tacs. That's it. A whole isle of chocolate, mind you, but a disappointingly small numbers of minty treats.

Liquorice. I have had one (yes, one) liquorice whirl since I came here. I miss catherine wheels - the long strand of liquorice and then the squidgy dimpled sweet in the middle...

Cheddar cheese. This may be heresy in Switzerland, but I yearn for cheddar. Tesco's Canadian Extra Mature Cheddar. I could eat a block of it.

And finally, my great yearning... Chinese Takeaway. Chicken chow mein. Sweet and sour sauce. Black bean sauce. Bamboo shoots. Peking duck with pancakes. I used to ring up my brother to pick me up from work and we would stop at the takeaway and I would take these delights home for dinner (and often lunch the next day). Or I would have all my friends round and we would spread bin bags on the floor and order a wide selection of food and then sit and share it...

I had better stop now before I start dribbling over my keyboard!